Philippine Tradition and Custom a good site to know Philippine tradition
http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm
Tips on Filipino Society
Are you a Religious:
Religion is a big part of Filipino society, Basically they are most roman catholic. So it must be Religion and believing in god is most important to them.
Are you a generous:
Philippine society is communal system, Filipino are well know generous people. Because they share food with their neighbor, they usually show themselves as Makabayan means hospitable action.
Wooing a Filipina:
To woo a Filipina he must prove that he love’s the girl. And it is a tradition to a Filipino family to give gift to the parents.
Dating a Filipina:
Expect that in the fist date you have a chaperon with you, perhaps an aunt or a brother. This is a good point to show to them to their relatives that you have a good intention and serious and gentlemen of your action. In anyway you win the heart of the chaperon and they will make good recommendation to the parent’s.
In the Philippines there’s a saying if you marry a Filipina you will marry the whole family. Family to them is very important, and you are also part of the family. So you are also important to them, what ever problem may arise you must open to each other.
Article on www.philippinecustom.com
Filipina:
How to win Filipina heart.
A Filipina woman is no different from other women in the world, and there is always a way to win the heart of any woman. You just have to find the way and the rest will follow. Winning the heart of a Filipina is very simple. She is after all, just a human being like you who has the capability to live, love, and gets hurt.
Chances are you had been chatting with each other through the internet, exchanged photos and huge files of email, spent thousands of dollars in long distance telephone calls and seen each other on the webcam. Through your correspondence, you should have already been familiar with her interests, her likes and what makes her tick. You can capitalize on this to win her heart and make her yours.
When you decide to visit the Philippines and meet your Filipina girlfriend in person, how you adjust and fit in her environment will add to your plus points. A Filipina girl’s family is very important to her. If scruffy children (could be her relatives or siblings) with runny noses creep up on you and climb on your lap, do not shoo the kids away or show you are offended because your Filipina girlfriend will think you feel too superior
and can not accept her family.
Once again, you must remember that blood is thicker than water, and if she has to make a choice between you and her family, you will be left out in the cold. Remember the street joke about how she can find another husband but not another parents or family.
How you respond to these curious relatives and family members count a lot for your girlfriend. Honesty may not be a good virtue at this time especially if your girlfriend lives in a crowded neighborhood filled with gawking neighbors and you could not find anything good to say. Try to find something nice to comment on and be creative about it, too.
Bring along small gifts for your girlfriend and for her family if you can. These gifts need not be expensive but simple ones. You must have known by this time what your girlfriend is interested in. If she loves to read, books would come handy. Little things like this count and your girlfriend will feel you really care.
Little things like opening doors or pulling out her chair, lightly touching her elbow to assist her when you cross the street and pulling pleasant surprises are surefire ways to win a Filipina’s heart. Treat a Filipina like a princess and she will be yours for life.
Another effective way to win her heart is to complement her on her looks. Now be careful about this, she may not look like Miss Universe but just find something at her what you really think is special about her. Do not by any means complement on something that is not true because she is very sensitive when it comes to her personal attributes. Make no comments about her being absent when nice legs or flawless skin were distributed! That would be suicidal.
What Does A Filipina Lady Look For In Her Ideal Man
As any other normal human being, each Filipina girl has her own ideals or qualities that she looks for in a man who will be her partner for life. She would not expecting a very wealthy Mr. Universe to come pounding on her front door to offer her the whole world on a platter, but undeniably, she is on the lookout for that special someone who shares her interests, understands her and who can fill the void in her life. Here are some of the qualities that a Filipina female generally looks for in a man:
A man who shows respect. You can easily win the heart of a Filipina if you show her respect. She will feel loved and cared for and get a feeling that she matters to you.
A well-groomed man. Most Filipina females are not very concerned about a man’s looks, but it is important for her to see her man clean, and well-groomed. It will not hurt if you take a daily bath and pay attention to clean your fingernails!
A good listener. Growing up in a patriarchal society where men take center stage, the Filipina women often play the second fiddle and sometimes, men just do not listen to them or make their opinions count. Women want men who treat them as their equals, men who listen and hear what they want to say, and somebody she can talk to.
A loving and giving man. The need to be loved is inherent in everybody, and Filipina women are no different. They want to be loved, cared for and appreciated for who they are. A woman wants a man who lets a woman be herself, who gives her freedom to think and act as she wants to. She wants to feel that she is giving as much as you in the relationship and that you are giving as much as she is.
A man who is honest and loyal. This may seem like a tall order but due to her conservative upbringing, a Filipina woman will not turn deaf and blind if you flirt with other women or worse, get involved in extra-marital affairs. Do not expect her to understand if you tell her the affair was just a fling because for her, that is cheating.
A principled and romantic man. A Filipina female wants a man who has a firm set of principles and will stand by what he believes in no matter what. As a Filipina woman is romantic by nature, she is also looking for a man who is not predictable and is full of surprises. This is one secret that keeps the romance going in the relationship.
A stable man. All women want a man who is willing to support his family. Filipina girls grew up in a culture where men are the breadwinners of the family. This does not mean they require a man to be rich but they need to be reassured that you are there for them, and they can rely on you. Finally, women are drawn to nice, interesting and self-confident men who carries a good dosage of sense of humor with them.
The Beauty Of A Filipina - What Makes Her So Special
Filipina women are just like any other women in the world. They are humans who seek happiness and fulfillment of their dreams, they are resilient, they laugh and they cry, they win and they fail but after a failure, they can stand up and learn from it.
So what makes Filipina women irresistible? Filipina ladies are warm and caring. Their inner beauty, sunny disposition and charm adds to the physical attractiveness and gracefulness they possess. Filipina ladies are naturally romantic, loving, resourceful and have old-fashioned values. They are optimistic and have flexible personalities. They have the capability to adapt to any situation and accept things they can not change. They are also outgoing by nature and are pleasant company. Equipped with a generous share of great sense of humor, Filipina ladies are prone to see the lighter side of life in sticky situations.
Filipina females are raised in a special sense of honor called delikadesa (daintiness). You can never see a conservative Filipina engage in loud arguments and shouting match because they were taught to be polite and soft-spoken. There are exceptions though because modern-day Filipinas who are influenced by other cultures are losing this trait.
When Filipina ladies enter into a relationship, they look at it as a serious business and a life-long commitment. There is no “absolute divorce” in Philippines so if you are looking for a trial-and-error marriage, look for a bride somewhere else.
Once married, Filipina wives puts her husbands and family at the top of their priority list, and it is their goal to excel in home and family management. They believe in a one-man one-woman relationship and are lifetime partners, holding a high regard for the sanctity of marriage. Filipina ladies are excellent home keepers, and being a good wife and mother is a trophy for her.
Filipina women are willing to sacrifice their own happiness and careers for the sake of their families. They are very supportive to their husbands. The Philippines is under a patriarchal society where the husband is the head of the family but in cases when the husband is unable to fulfill his obligation, like in the case of illness, death or separation by distance, the Filipina wife stands by him and takes the responsibility as the breadwinner on her shoulders.
Filipinas are well educated. As young as three years old, the Filipino children start going to pre-school. Parents too sacrifice and forgo other needs just so their children can finish their studies. This in an edge the Filipinas have over others because they can easily fill in jobs.
Filipino girls are religious. As a predominantly Roman Catholic country, children are raised to be devoted to the church at an early age. A lot of people may think that the Philippines is a factory producing ideal women who will be loyal and take care of their husbands even until their retirement. This is not putting the Filipinas on top of a pedestal but when you take a Filipina for a bride, expect somebody to stay with you for life.
Love And Romance: Filipina Style
For a Filipina lady the search for the right person to be her future partner with is a serious business because when she finally makes her choice and decides to marry, she considers it a life-long commitment.
Deep inside the heart of every Filipina woman is a dream to find the right man for her, one who shares and understands her thoughts and aspirations, who will complement her personality and who love her and be there for her all the time. In short she is looking for that other half where she was taken from to make her existence whole again but she does not want to look for that particular person on a trial and error basis.
When she enters into love and romance, she is looking for a man who will be with her and grow old together, not one who will leave her when problems or trials arise during the relationship.She will be there for you, not only when you are strong and healthy but when you grow old and sick, too.
When you start getting serious with a Filipina or when you take her for a bride, you must remember that there is no divorce in the Philippines. When things really do not go well between you both, you can only be separated through legal separation which allows you and your wife to live separately but may not remarry; through declaration of nullity where it is presupposed that the marriage is void from the start and the court declares it does not exist non-existence, and annulment where both spouses are restored to their single status after the marriage is legally cancelled.
With her natural romantic streak, you can be as imaginative and creative as you can in wooing your Filipina sweetheart because she will appreciate the things you do. You would not believe how taking her to a romantic place, which could be a candlelit dinner to enjoy soft music and wine, or to a resort beside the sea where you could see and hear the waves crashing on the shores will draw her closer to you.
Touching her hand in a delicate way is also very romantic way for her to feel you care and respect her. She is very sentimental and may even document the times you were together. Do not be surprised if years later, you can discover a scrapbook among her files and see the dried up remnants of a single flower or a whole bunch which you gave her on a date, wrappers of chocolate, table napkin or some other memento which hold hundreds of memories.
You may have been accustomed to the more liberated women who believe in casual relationships, one night stands, speed dating, or having multiple partners, but most Philippine women are conservative.
It is common practice that if a young Filipina adopts a liberated attitude or does not conduct herself appropriately, she becomes the object of gossip in the neighborhood and the community and it will affect her chances of getting married properly because men will think twice before getting serious with her.
Ideal Gifts For Your Filipina Girlfriend
You can give without loving, but you can not love without giving. This is very true but what gifts are appropriate to give your Filipina sweetheart
Here are some suggestions to help you out.
Roses and chocolates.
Whether you give her a single, a dozen or two dozens fresh-cut long stem roses, she will be ecstatic to know that you care and she will show to the world that she has someone special in her life.
Even if your Filipina girlfriend is on a diet, she can not resist chocolates if you brought it for her.
Fragrance
Filipina ladies tend to love signature label fragrances and accessories, and they will be highly appreciated especially if bought from other countries.
Designer bags and jewelry
Although the Philippines has its own designer label products, she would appreciate it especially if you carried it with you halfway around the world. It is better if you buy jewelry in the Philippines.
Electronic gadgets
If your girlfriend is into electronics, she would appreciate if you bring her electronic items. These are usually way beyond the reach of average income families and may be considered a luxury. You do not necessarily have to give her the latest models in digital cameras, home theatre systems or notebooks while you scrimp and endure using a manual typewriter for the rest of your life. Just be practical and do not go overboard.
Cell phone.
Chances are she has one already but if not, and you want her to contact her anytime when you go back to your country, you may give her a unit depending on how much you can afford. The hitch to this is she may find another text mate/boyfriend using your cell phone but it is a risk you have to take. If she is faithful to you, she will remain faithful.
Budget for clothes.
She will appreciate this (well, who doesn’t) but set a budget and stick to it. Give her just enough to buy a whole new set of wardrobe especially if you are planning to take her to your country. If she is a wise shopper, she can get good deals. Clothes can be bought at cheaper prices in the Philippines compared to your country.
The list for gifts is endless. It is actually up to you to make the choice but even little things count. It is not wise to literally bury your Filipina girlfriend under mountains of gifts because she may love your gifts more than you. On an end note, woe unto you if you happen to land on the “bilmoko” species (coined from bilihan mo ako, Tagalog term for “buy me this, buy me that) because you will likely go bald (if you are not already) with her demands. She may ask you to buy her land and condo units, luxurious cars that may require you to spend your salary ten years in advance.
Filipina Ladies-Where To Meet Them
So you have molded in your mind the vision of a beautiful Filipina you want to spend the rest of your life with. Little by little you have started to prepare things together, anticipating the time when you will finally meet the final piece of a puzzle that will complete your life.
But the question is where can you find her? There are many ways of meeting Filipina ladies.
Visit the Philippines
One choice is to go to the Philippines and look for her yourself but this could prove very costly and risky on your part. You would have to leave work, spend thousands of dollars and stay for a long time in the Philippines and even if you find a girl you like, you would miss the opportunity of “really knowing her” because by then, your visitor’s visa would expire and you would be pressed for time.
Connections
Get in touch or hang out with friends, relatives or family members who have Filipina friends and connections. They tend to have constant communication and closer ties with their kababayan (fellow Filipinos) and this is a good start. Attend their parties and join their activities because sooner or later, they will be able to introduce you to a lady whom they can vouch to be of good character and commendable moral upbringing. You could also hang out where Filipinos usually convene during weekends, or days off.
Through the internet
The availability and accessibility or the internet is the convenient way to meet Filipina ladies because you can do it from the comfort of your homes, and you have plenty to choose from. Sensing this need, thousands of agencies and websites opened chat rooms categorized into groups where any person can find ways to connect with people who share their interests.
A few clicks on your mouse will lead you to thousands of matchmaking agencies, dating sites where you can meet multitudes of ladies to choose from. Do not be in a hurry, you will find her amongst those web pages. Chatting with her and exchanging emails will also give you a chance to get to know her better, establish the foundation of your friendship and if things go right let it develop into something more serious.
By chance meeting
Meeting the Filipina lady who will share a life-long relationship with you by chance could be considered as the hand of fate. Everything is natural and there is no planning. Both of you are spared the pressures involved in the preparation of your meeting. Being at the right time and the right place with the right woman could change the course of your life forever.
If you are really looking for the Filipina woman of your dreams, do not sit there and grow old waiting for her to fall on your lap from the skies. Make a move to find her. Once you meet her, make her yours, for life!
Dating A Filipina: The Cultural Differences
In the first place, men and women were created differently from each other and even if you marry a woman from your own country, it still takes effort to make a relationship work. When a foreigner dates a Filipina lady whose background is totally different, it means both must double their effort for things to click. Unless you were dragged to the marriage chamber with a handkerchief over your eyes, you are aware of this and saying “I do” means you have to accept her for what she is, what she stands for. Here are some issues where you differ:
Attachment to her family. For a Filipina lady, family always comes first so the need to be in constant communication with her family is always there. She will always think what is better for her family.
Money. In a Filipino family, the woman usually holds the purse strings and does the budget. One habit you may not understand is a Filipina lady may splurge and spend hard-earned money on fiestas, celebrations.
Food.The Filipina lady may adjust to your taste but she will still crave for her usual rice and viand servings. She also eats foods you may consider bizarre like balut, a boiled day-old chick egg dipped in vinegar and salt, bagoong (anchovy), and tuyo (dried fish). The smell of these foods may be disgusting to you but please do not call the police to arrest her if she eats these (although there is a danger that your neighbors will!).
Growing up with the idea that food is not that easy to find, your girlfriend always thinks of ways to save, so do not be surprised to see leftover food from breakfast reappear at the table for lunch. When you dine out in a restaurant, your girlfriend would probably ask the waiter to wrap what’s left to take home. Deep in her heart, she may be feeling guilty and wondering what her family is having for dinner while she is at the plush restaurant with you.
Privacy. When a Filipina lady already considers you as family, she may take things for granted and be offended when you react if she inspects your wallet, emails, and even cellphone messages. To her, it is not an intrusion of privacy but a symbol that you trust her and that since you would be married anyway, there should be no secrets between you.
Time. When your girlfriend says “I will be there around 6 o’clock”, do not expect here to be there on the dot. Expect her up to even an hour later as she does not want to appear “too eager”. Filipino time is never on time.
Communication problems. Your girlfriend may not be able to tell you exactly what she wants. She is not trained to holler and shout when she needs to and you may not understand what she means when she says something. She may even expect you to read her raised eyebrows and puckered lip.
Permanence in relationship. Your view on marriage and relationships may differ. For a Filipina lady, marriage is a permanent thing and she will not think of divorce when things go wrong. Remember “it is because you are so different from each other that you have so much to share”.
A typical Filipino family
For a typical Filipina lady, family comes first and this is something you have to instill in your system to better understand her and her culture. This factor could contribute to the success or failure of your relationship or marriage.
The family is considered as the basic unit of society in the Philippines and for a Filipina, faithfulness to her family take first priority. You may not believe that there are cases when a choice has to be made, the Filipina lady will choose her parents or family over you. (they have a saying you can get another husband but there’s only one set of parents for her).
When the children are still small, the parents do all they can to meet hardships and sacrifice to give them a better future. Thus, when the children are all grown up and are working, they are committed to their parents and they have one desire, and that is to work and make the life of their parents easier. The children are hesitant to leave home even when they are married and have kids of their own.
Frequently they would build an extension wing to the original house and the grandmother is once again taking care of kids - this time her grand children. They eat meals together, or in cases where families cook separately, they still knock on each other’s door and share their meals. Mealtimes, especially dinner is very rarely a formal setting. In fact, it s a pleasant get-together for the whole family as they swap stories about the day’s events.
In a typical Filipino family, the women are brought up with the tradition that when they marry, their husbands will take care of them and they will stay as housewives and take care of the family and the children. Times are changing though as more women found independence and satisfaction in working and earning their own money.
Filipino families have high regard for integrity, dignity, honor. They show high respect for the their parents and the elderly. Children do not call their parents by their first names like western countries because for them, this shows lack of respect. Fathers are commonly called Daddy, Papa, Tatang, and Tatay while mothers are called Mommy, Mama, Nanang and Nanay.
Probably nine out of 10 Filipinos would not think of sending their aged parents or even grandparents to any institution to be cared for by strangers. You must know that you have more fingers in your hands than there are homes for the aged in the Philippines.
The moment you say the heavily loaded words “I do” in front of the judge or the priest, you must understand that you are not marrying only the “perfect Filipina bride” for you but you are taking a whole package for life. Do not be surprised that right after your wedding you have earned yourself 2,000 new relatives whom you do not know. Strange children will kiss your hand and call you uncle, while adults may shake your hand or pat your arm and welcome you into the family.
One final piece of advice: Do not ever promise marriage to a lady if you are not serious. Filipina ladies do not play around and if you abandon her after taking liberties with her, the family loyalty takes over. Consider yourself lucky if you can go home and your mother can still recognize you, not after brothers, parents, uncles, cousins, neighbors (and those 2,000 new relatives you were about to acquire) runs to your girlfriend’s “rescue”. Blood is thicker than water, after all.
Filipina Dating
So you are really keen on dating a Filipina woman? Crossing cultures is a risk filled with challenges as both of you comes from different backgrounds and reared up in different cultures and ideas.
You may have a different view when it comes to dating. When you want to date a Filipina lady you just do not come up and ask her out right the first time you see her. You have to start by befriending her, and it takes a long process before you can finally take her out on a date. Her conservative upbringing taught her to be wary of strangers, and as a foreigner you pose as a threat and challenge at the same time.
When she finally consents to go out with you, chances are she would want to go to a public place like restaurants, mall, games, or events where she can see friends and other familiar faces. A friend or two may even accompany you during your dates and this makes her feel secure. She is also sensitive to your behavior during your dates and she will not allow you to show affection especially as you are seen in public. She considers dating time as too for kissing or even holding hands.
Relationships with Filipina ladies pass several stages and if you are planning to take a Filipina for a bride, you have to take a long bumpy ride. Filipino women cannot afford to be fast, they are expected to be pakipot (hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior when they are courted. A Filipino girl never shows her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately.
She may go out with you alone after you both come out in the open and inform her family and friends about your relationship. When you go out with a Filipina lady and you are contemplating on taking her for a bride, it is considered improper if you will not meet her parents and her family for a formal introduction. Family matters most for a Filipina woman and you must learn to accept that.
There is a common but unspoken rule in the Philippines that says “When you court or date a Filipina girl you are not courting or dating just her, you are courting and dating the whole family”. This may seem like a tall order for someone as independent as you but following this rule will help you earn her respect and her family will look at you with high regard.
You should treat your Filipina with respect, lead the courtship with your heart and you may find a lifetime partner that will enrich your life as you have never imagined.
When out on a date, Filipina women are fun to be with when they are already at ease and relax around you. Ever a romantic at heart, a Filipina lady appreciates your creativity and resourcefulness. She loves surprises and unpredictability so if you go the extra mile and exert effort to make your dates unique and memorable, she will treasure your moments together.
Filipino Wedding Customs: The “Pamamanhikan”
In the Philippines, a wedding is always an occasion for much celebration. Even the poorest of families try to cough up money whenever one of their members contemplates marriage. So how much more for those who are better off?
One of the Filipino wedding customs that is still being practiced across all levels of society is called the “pamamanhikan”. In other countries it corresponds to the rite of engagement, or formally asking the prospective bride’s consent to marry. It basically consists of the man’s meeting the woman’s parents for their consent to get the engaged couple legally tied in marriage. If anything, the “pamamanhikan” suggests how important filial blessings are in Philippine marriages.
Filipinos usually take time to plan for a wedding. They want to make sure that everyone who plays a role in the “pamamanhikan” has enough preparations for it. Tradition requires the prospective groom’s parents and relatives to call on the prospective bride’s home, where her parents and relatives are in attendance. This occasion serves as an opportunity for both families to meet each other and agree on agree on important details like the date and venue of the civil and church wedding (if there is going to be one), the sharing of expenses, the identification of principal sponsors and how the other members of the wedding entourage will be divided between the two families, among others things.
The groom’s family brings food and drinks to the bride’s house. Often times the bride’s family also shares in the burden of preparations for the “pamamanhikan”. Everyone looks forward to a moment of fun and satisfaction from this wedding custom.
This customarily festive Filipino wedding celebrations foster harmony and rapport among family members and the rest of the community. They are meant to augur well for the future happiness of the couple wishing to get married.
The Family Is The Way To A Filipina Woman’s Heart
Philippine society puts a high value on the family as an institution. Filipina women are fiercely loyal to her family and its interests are her priority concerns. For the uninitiated, including foreigners who are seeking Filipinas for a wife or a girlfriend, understanding her family is the way to winning her affection.
The ties that bind family members are sacred. You can only breach them at your peril. There have been accounts of conflicts coming to a head, like Filipina women agonizing over who to choose–the man of her dreams or the family. In these instances the lady will most likely keep the family. The Filipino family is a complex network of support systems. Aside from parents and children, the family consists of grand parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, grand nieces, god parents, and more. One partakes of the joys and pain of the other.
What can work for many foreigners, however, are stories and perceptions that show how the interests of families–especially for the relatively needy among them–get sufficiently addressed by inter-racial marriages. Foreign males are widely seen as financially stable, and can therefore work like a bridge for them from poverty to relative security.
Whatever pressing needs the Filipina’s family may feel, her pursuers need to understand that helping her address them is the key to earn her cheerful disposition, her affection, her undying love and, when they get to marry, even life. In marriage, she is loyal to the end.
You’ve Met Your Perfect Filipina Lady: How To Build Relations With Her Family
To a Filipina lady, her family will always remain at the top of her priority list, and not just her family, but a large extended family. Respect for her family’s elders had been instilled in her young mind since her cradle days, so your acceptance and the approval of her family as your husband-to-be is a vital issue.
In the olden days, when a man wants to marry his girlfriend, he had to take his parents and relatives with him (not to mention tons of food) and propose in front of the girl’s family and her whole clan. The girl does not have much say in the arrangements.
If the elders reach a compromise and approve of the marriage, the husband-to-be will stay behind and serve his girlfriend’s family for a few months, chopping wood and fetching water from the spring, taking care of the family’s animals and helping her father in the farm. Even then, there are instances when the family finds something they disapprove of and the marriage will not push through.
You need not be alarmed because these are times gone by. You will not be required or expected to do service but her family would of course like to meet you.
However, if your girlfriend did not tell her parents or family about you, be prepared for the worst. Her father or brothers may wave a shining sword under your nose, chase you out of the house or loosen the dogs (and this is not impossible) by your sudden appearance! In truth, they feel threatened that you are going to whisk off a member of their family away.
This is also true if their daughter is very young and they pinned such high hopes for her, or when they found out you are older than her father by a couple of decades and you will take her away to your country and they will not be there to protect her.
Old-fashioned parents have this pre-conceived notion that foreigners are never serious with their relationships and marriages, and they have no desire to have their daughter join the list of your abandoned victims. Honestly, they fear for their daughter and do not relish the thought of their child leaving them to go off in a far-away land with a stranger.
It is just fair for you to assure them that their daughter will be in good hands with you. It is important that you show then that you are sincere and that your intention towards their daughter is true (if you really are) and that you are not a competition against their daughter but an ally for her bright future.
Make friends with them and join family activities to fit in. Capture the weakness of her parents and family members, and appreciate the close family ties they shared.
Treat your girlfriend like a princess and serve her in front of her parents and family. If you remember your girlfriend’s family’s birthdays, anniversaries, or other occasions, then that would even be better.
What A Filipina Girl Thinks About Sex
Men seeking to win the heart of a Filipina for a wife are likely to grapple the question of what goes on in the mind of a typical Filipina when it comes to sex. Let us not forget that while many Filipinas are considered to be as expressive as other women anywhere, majority of them remains inhibited when talking about “delicate” topics like sex. Do they prefer foreigners over Filipino males as sex partners? Are they submissive like many think they are?
It may help to view these questions in their larger contexts before we respond to them.
A strong family ranks at the top in the heirarchy of Filipina values. When she looks for a mate, her agenda revolves around molding a partnership that can support to build a family that will endure the test of time. A strong and stable family is seen as one that is able to cope with its emotional and material needs. In this sense men from other countries appear to have an edge over average Filipino males because foreigners are generally viewed as relatively mature and financially stable.
Culture also bears on the sexual orientation and preferences of Filipina women. Filipinas look forward to sexual encounters with foreigners not so much because of the quality of sexual pleasure they may experience together, but rather because many Filipinas believe that sex can give rise to a genetically-enhanced brood in the family. Filipinas raised in patriarchal families tend to be submissive in sex, content to lie on her back and let her partner do what he pleases.
In all cases the Filipina woman will not be found wanting in her passion for love, life and sex. Her values are deeply rooted in her sense of an ideal family
The Heart Of Filipino Family Life
Anybody who has been in close contact with a Filipino family may readily observe that the center of its existence are the children. Rarely will you find a Filipino family that is childless. It is unthinkable for a Filipino family to be without children. Those who cannot, by incapacity, bear children take surrogate ones by acting as foster parents.
Filipino family life is simply incomplete without children. It is very common for families to have three or more children in the urbanized areas and as many as a dozen in the rural areas. Arguably, having plenty of children is impractical in this day and age, but Filipino parents are inherently fatalistic and tend to invoke Divine intervention when it comes to raising their brood. God will provide, they say.
For the Filipino family, children are the source of joy and pleasure for parents and grandparents. They are looked upon as the natural extension of filial lineage and heritage. They are the indispensable link to one’s immortality. Parents therefore have always their children’s best interests in their hearts, prioritizing whatever is seen as necessary to provide for them a bright future. This is not entirely surprising, after all parents anywhere have the same desire for their children.
But let is be said once more that children will always be at the center any Filipino family life. It is one key reason why marriage with Filipina women ranks high among men who love kids and desire to have plenty of them. Filipinas will gladly stay at home and take care of the children.
The Filipina Family
Many non-Filipinos get the shock of their lives upon coming face-to-face with a Filipina family for the first time. Concepts related to Filipina families like “nuclear”, “extended”, “immediate”, “core”, among other things, find expression in real people.
A family in many cases does not simply mean a father, a mother and siblings. It also includes grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, first cousins, distant cousins, and sometimes even the family dog. As a result the Filipina family is usually a very large one. And it can be a source of both amusement and exasperation for the uniniated foreigner.
Why is it a source of amusement? There are customs and traditions peculiar to the Filipino family that inspire smiles and a feel-good atmosphere for those experiencing it the first time. Not a few foreigners have recounted experiences of attending family gatherings where they saw profuse expressions of affection among family members, such as children kissing the hand of elders and the old ones hugging children as if they have not met in decades.
Hand-kissing is an age-old Filipino gesture of respect. Although it has been replaced by the Western practice of cheek-buzzing in some city-based Filipina families, it still remains to be widely prevalent in less urbanized areas and relatively less exposed to Western culture.
And why is the extended Filipina family sometimes a source of exasperation for foreigners? Two things: first, you do not get to meet everybody in the short time that you are with them and, second, your “pasalubong” or welcome gifts are never enough. They always run out before everybody gets his or her share!
In any case the Filipina family remains warm, hospitable, accommodating, and pleasant. It is a joy to be found in the midst of a bustling community. It is one clan that warms people’s hearts.
Preserving Filipino Customs And Traditions
Today’s Philippine society is markedly different from what it was a hundred years, nay, even fifty years, ago. The pace of its social, political and technological progress has been fast. Changes have taken place in almost every aspect of living, and everything has been influenced by the rapidly developing, highly technological world that is prevailing right now.
Old folks can only shake their heads at every new work of invention that helps people live a convenient and comfortable life. For them, it was almost inconceivable that text messages get sent and received within a matter of seconds and cameras have gone from the bulky blackboxes to the increasingly compact and highly advanced digital cameras that are already very common today.
On the other hand, technological inroads into the Filipino way of life has brought out casualties in a number of Filipino customs.
To name a few, Filipinos are no longer celebrating fiestas and religious holidays as keenly as they used to. Gone, too, are the praying of the 12:00 noon, the 6:00 pm Angelus, and the 3 o’clock prayer. “Bayanihan,” that sublime expression of a community responding positively to the needs of its members, is gradually waning.
Filipinos cannot afford to just let their customs and traditions be totally forgotten. Customs and traditions are part of a nation’s culture; they are part of the Filipino heritage. If Filipinos do not watch it, their customs and traditions are bound to vanish. They will lose as a nation, because a people become who they are by the culture that defines how they live.
The Filipina Wife As Light Of The Home (Ilaw Ng Tahanan)
The Filipina wife has many beautiful facets that many husbands can attest to. She is the devoted partner and loyal ally of her husband in all aspects of their marriage. While she remains the hands-on parent for her children, she also often helps her husband earn needed income to meet the family’s daily basic needs.
This was not the case some decades ago. Before, the wife was totally stay-at-home. She had to ensure that the family home was neat and tidy; the meals ready at the table; the clothes clean, crisp and dry; the children did well in their studies; and the general order at home was maintained. The Filipina wife used to be a reserved and religious woman; a good housekeeper and budget planner; a devoted and loyal partner to her husband; and a doting mother if strict mentor to her children.
Even as most of these characteristics of the typical Filipina wife remain manifest especially in the countryside where people are generally conservative and families are patriarchal, these days the contemporary wife is almost co-equal in social status with that of the husband. The Filipina wife now shares the burden of providing for the family needs by engaging in livelihood or getting regular employment.
In some cases a domestic helper takes the housekeeping role of the wife, but often the wife still has her say in organizing the entire household. And while Filipino children are normally trained to help get the household chores done, the overall responsibility for managing the household still rests with the Filipino wife and mother.
It is therefore not surprising that the Filipino wife came to be known as “multi-tasker” and “superwoman” here and abroad. And even if her multi-roles can sometimes get overwhelming, the Filipina wife remains generally strong and a proud woman. She draws her strength from her love for the family. After all, she is the one and only “ilaw ng tahanan” (light of the home).
The Filipina Wife As Light Of The Home (Ilaw Ng Tahanan)
The Filipina wife has many beautiful facets that many husbands can attest to. She is the devoted partner and loyal ally of her husband in all aspects of their marriage. While she remains the hands-on parent for her children, she also often helps her husband earn needed income to meet the family’s daily basic needs.
This was not the case some decades ago. Before, the wife was totally stay-at-home. She had to ensure that the family home was neat and tidy; the meals ready at the table; the clothes clean, crisp and dry; the children did well in their studies; and the general order at home was maintained. The Filipina wife used to be a reserved and religious woman; a good housekeeper and budget planner; a devoted and loyal partner to her husband; and a doting mother if strict mentor to her children.
Even as most of these characteristics of the typical Filipina wife remain manifest especially in the countryside where people are generally conservative and families are patriarchal, these days the contemporary wife is almost co-equal in social status with that of the husband. The Filipina wife now shares the burden of providing for the family needs by engaging in livelihood or getting regular employment.
In some cases a domestic helper takes the housekeeping role of the wife, but often the wife still has her say in organizing the entire household. And while Filipino children are normally trained to help get the household chores done, the overall responsibility for managing the household still rests with the Filipino wife and mother.
It is therefore not surprising that the Filipino wife came to be known as “multi-tasker” and “superwoman” here and abroad. And even if her multi-roles can sometimes get overwhelming, the Filipina wife remains generally strong and a proud woman. She draws her strength from her love for the family. After all, she is the one and only “ilaw ng tahanan” (light of the home).
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Filipina Dating Sites Have Opened New Doors For Romance
This is a time when people connect people fast and easy. Through the internet, information gets transmitted and received over long distances at the speed of light. And with it people easily find a global audience with whom they share ideas, make decisions, reach agreements, close deals or find romance. Today, the cyberworld teems with Filipina dating sites and have opened counless doors for Filipinas who are searching for romance.
Philippine dating sites normally feature stories and photos of Filipinas or Filipino females. Beginning in the early 1990’s, more and more Filipinas with ages ranging from 16 to 50 years old have met men from Europe, the United States, South Korea, Japan and the Middle East countries through these sites. The common belief is that more than half of these Filipinas intend to marry, and often do end up in marriage, with their online dates, email mates or chat mates. These sites are thriving and have given occasion to the growing phenomenon of inter-racial marriages in the country.
The other side of why Filipina Dating Sites are catching on world wide is largely due to the charm, inner beauty and cheerful disposition of Filipinas. They live up to everyone’s expectations. They are as excellent as Filipina dating sites tell people they are. One American male who ended up marrying a Filipina once commented that aside from their unique Asian beauty, Filipinas are sweet, sexy and really love their men with passion.
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Filipina Motherhood Makes A Complete Woman
May 21, 2008 | By peter
When somebody says that motherhood makes a woman complete will likely find it more apt in the Philippines than anywhere else. Filipina motherhood is a serious yet a very special attribute and gift to a woman. While the role can be difficult sometimes, the sense of fulfillment it gives a Filipina can be a truly amazing experience.
From the birth of her children to the time they become adults and begin to spread their own wings to face the world on their own, children at their various stages test the natural strength and nurturing ability of a typical mother.
Filipina motherhood is also about being the first spiritual guide, moral advocate, primary mentor, a child psychologist, an artist, fierce protector, nurse, doctor and front-line cheerleader all rolled into one for and because of her children. The tasks and responsibilities which motherhood entails make her a better person.
For despite having to wake up in ungodly hours to nurse her child, she learns patience. A child with difficult eating habits forces her to be creative. An engagingly inquisitive child on the other hand, enhances her mentoring skills. An impatient child transforms her into a child psychologist.
And for all the little frustrations, fears and seemingly unending responsibilities of motherhood, the overwhelming and unconditional love for her children is at the core of a Filipina mother’s heart. Filipina motherhood is a never-ending story between a Filipina mother and her children. One’s existence defines and nurtures the other’s. Filipina motherhood indeed makes a Filipina woman complete.
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Filipina Mail Order Brides
May 20, 2008 | By peter In
Decades ago Filipinas who dreamed of having a foreigner male for a partner went through a long process. The common route was through referrals, like foreigners who have Filipino/Filipina friends, acquaintances or partners themselves.
Pen pal pages carried by magazines and newspapers also provided avenues for inter-racial connection. Filipinas then had to communicate to their future foreign mates through the regular mail. Other communication facilities, like telephone and telegram, were scarce, costly and impractical.
As in other countries, brokers later came up with ideas of making remote romantic matching more efficient. They introduced the mail-order-bride packages. Like recruitment agencies, mail-order-bride agencies advertised a pool of Filipinas seeking foreigner partners to their offshore market. In the same manner, these agencies advertised for a fee their foreigner clients to their Filipina mail-order-bride prospects. An undisclosed number of matches, no less than tens of thousands, culminated in Filipina-Foreigner marriages through this route.
But when the Philippine government later noticed that mail-order-bride matching became a convenient facility for male foreigners to “own” Filipina women as nothing more than their domestic helpers, it enacted a law in 1990 that criminalized the scheme. Filipinas who ended up having foreigner partners via the mail-order-bride route eventually decreased in number and the practice continued only under covert procedures.
But the idea of mail-order-bride continues to thrive in the Philppines and may have in fact flourished with everyone’s relatively easy access to the internet. On line dating sites and services serve the same purpose of matching Filipinas seeking foreigner males for a mate, and vice versa, only that the process has become faster and easier for everybody to use.
However, whilst the concept might thrive in some men’s minds, describing any lady as a “mail order bride” is insulting to say the least.
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Filipina Dating Sites
May 19, 2008 | By peter In
Access to the internet has made it easy for Filipinas seeking foreigner males for a mate to get themselves going. The internet teems with pages encouraging them to sign up for a possible online connection with the man of her dreams. Filipina dating sites scream with catchy banners like “Filipina Beauties,” “Filipina Heart,” or “Filipina Passion.”
These sites promptly pop up as website links or upon request through internet search engines. For a fee, foreigners interested in having Filipinas for romantic partners can easily access information they need through these Filipina dating sites.
Filipinas whose profiles and photos are posted by various dating sites in the web are legion. Recent estimates range from tens to hundreds of thousands. Most Filipinas see online connection as the first step towards igniting romantic relationships with foreigners, preferably ending in marriage. They see it as doors leading to many opportunities, the most common of which being able to one day lift themselves and their families out of poverty.
Filipina dating sites provide match-making services to Filipinas and foreigner males seeking each other. While many Filipinas and their relatives, as well as foreigners, have benefited from them, others believe that these sites work in the same way that the outlawed mail-order-bride scheme did.
Protesters demand a tighter regulation of these sites to check exploitation of Filipinas through trafficking. The Philippine government has responded with fresh rules implementing the 1990 Mail-Order-Bride Law and the 2003 Anti Trafficking Law.
In the meantime, the number of Filipinas signing up on these sites continues to rise.
Filipina Dating Customs, Then And Now
The Filipina dating customs have taken on a transition of sorts since the Spanish time up to the present times. Dating, romantically construed, makes for a serious definition for the typical Filipina, especially in the earlier times. It usually means serious courtship.
Then, when a Filipina dated, a horde of chaperones normally composed of her relatives and friends accompanied her and her suitor in plain outings. And when the courtship ends in marriage, both families of the lady and the prospective groom create a unity of one large, extended family
Virginity As Part of Filipina Culture
Virginity used to be associated with life itself for Filipina girls and women. You only lose it to your husband and you do not lose it before marriage. The moment a Filipina breaches this standard, it would be like virtual death for her. Losing virginity at the wrong time and letting people know it are an affront to family pride more than they offend personal well being.
In the Philippines, family reputation is sacred. Her family, friends and community would ostracise her. She could not look forward to a bright future. Flipino men, even those who engage themselves in pre-marital sex, would not find her worthy of attention.
That was then. It is quite different now. Today’s youth engage freely in sex. Girls hardly mind losing their virginity like they used to. Men are not as stringent in rejecting a non-virgin for a wife.
Cases of teenage pregnancies and single parents are on the rise. The phenomenon is significant enough to move the Philippine government to enact a law protecting the interests of single parents. Surveys after surveys are confirming research data that show majority of young people aged from 15 to 35 have engaged themselves in pre-marital sex for at least once in their lives.
Losing virginity and ending up a single parent, along with poverty, have been recognized as the single strongest force that pushed Filipinas to seek employment in the country and overseas. The rise in number of single parents has impacted on the workplace and on the dating habits of Filipinas.
Today, Filipina workers outnumber their male counterparts, and have proceeded to earn a distinct reputation for their diligence. Unfortunately, some of them could not do better than take refuge in girlie bars and prostitution joints.
Filipina single parents also comprise a large segment of the online dating community. Despite rapid changes in Philipine culture particularly in relation to virginity, Filipinas still find it culturally liberating to date with foreigners online.
The Filipino Family: A Family Like No Other
The Filipino family is a unique family. Here, most households do not simply comprise what is considered the normal composition or make-up of members seen anywhere else around the world. While most families elsewhere are composed of a father, a mother or the parents and their children, a Filipino family would normally go beyond that structure in one household.
The grandparents of one of the parents are sometimes part of the Filipino family. Even nieces and nephews of the parents or uncles or aunts of the children may live in one household apart from the “basic family”, that is, the parents and their children.
Further, it is not unusual especially in the rural areas for two or more Filipino families to share a common house or attend to common household chores. They may also be found working together in livelihood activities like farming, fishing or small family enterprises.
The father in the Filipino Family often takes the role of primary provider. He is the authority figure, the acknowledged counselor and disciplinarian. The mother or wife takes the key responsibility for homemaking or household management. She is the moral compass and the children’s first academic mentor. But there have been changes in the home front. Parents today seem more open-minded, having evolved from being too disciplinarian to being an older type of friend for their children.
Although some parents these days still get a little uneasy with this “leveling-off” behavior towards their children, more and more of them have seen the positive impacts, like closer ties, better communication lines, higher levels of mutual trust and, more importantly, deeper respect and love for one another.
While some grandparents and other members of the “extended” Filipino family gets drawn to this relational unraveling, in some cases it is still on a much more conservative level. This is understandable since grandparents were born and reared in family traditions and culture steeped in more conservative and stringent manners.
Nevertheless, it is an amazing discovery how the Filipinos, with both their traditional “extended” family structure and continuing social evolution are able to survive in spite of these seeming incongruent characteristics of both the old and the new.
But then again, the Filipino family is unique.
Filipino Values That Bind The Family
There are unique values and traits that make and bind a Filipino family. Prominent among them is the way Filipinos address each other. There is, for example, the traditional use of “po” and “opo” as a sign of reverence to older family members by the younger ones.
Similarly, younger siblings address an older female sibling with “ate”, and an older male sibling with “kuya”. Kissing the hand of an elder is also a common greeting and considered uniquely Filipino. Respect for elders is manifest wherever there are Filipinos, even abroad.
Other Filipino values worth noting are seen during Sundays. Household members wear their best dress as they attend church services together. Most families later take leisure time together, like relaxing at the park, malling, watching a movie, eating out or just playing the favorite family game or sports, all in the spirit of fun and bonding. Many adult males are also cockfight aficionados.
While the fast-paced life has made it more difficult for the family to spend time together at the dinner table, some parents still believe this is one valued practice that should never be lost. Having meals together provides opportunities for interaction among family members. Here they discuss and share daily experiences, like updates on the parents’ work or on the kid’s school activities.
Children are not expected to leave home even in their early adulthood. Because Filipino families put great value in education, older children who earn incomes are expected to help pay for household expenses, including the education of younger siblings. Children try to keep the company of their aging parents even when they have families of their own. Being clannish is a common Filipino family value. Special occasions like weddings, fiestas, Christmas, baptism or death in the family usually bring families and clans together.
Filipino Friends: Who And What They Are
Filipino friends are often considered extended members of a typical Filipino family. Since Filipinos are known for being friendly and clannish, friends of any member of a household are always welcome in most family occasions like dinners, parties and outings or vacations.
It then becomes natural for friends to call each others’ parents “tita” and “tito” or even Papa or Mama or Tatay or Nanay as if they are their friends’ parents own children. Children also have no qualms about sharing or seeking advise from their friends’ parents on varied matters whenever they feel uncomfortable telling their own parents about them.
Filipino friends normally maintain close association. They spend a lot of time together. The young ones, after school, often spend more time after school to play games or just hang around the campus or at each other’s homes either to study together or play video or outdoor games. Weekends are often spent together as well.
The professionals, on the other hand, often seek one another on weekends or specially-designated get-together weekdays after work. Special occasions like birthday parties are also venues for catching up on missed stories about how other relatives or friends are doing.
Filipino friends are fiercely loyal and protective of one another. They are generous with time and resources. They share intimate secrets and often have the same interests or level of intellectuality. They are likely to come from similar social backgrounds, family and individual orientations, sets of values and beliefs. Their friendship goes beyond physical borders and distances.
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